Understand Your “Why”
This is hard to admit, but I didn’t truly care about my health until recently. Despite teaching at elite yoga studios in Beverly Hills, managing a boutique gym in Chelsea, and teaching over 50 classes per week in Toronto, I spent most of the last decade pursuing fitness because I wanted to look a certain way: Kelly Rowland abs, Michele Obama triceps, and a J-Lo booty. Take one look at Instagram, or a magazine, or a television show and you’ll see where this obsession with appearance comes from. When I started working out, the goal was Kate Moss “heroin chic.” Today, Kardashian-Esque “slim thick” is where it’s at, but who knows where our culture (and our plastic surgeons) will lead us.
The day my twins were born, I looked into their eyes and immediately knew that this whole song and dance couldn’t last. I wish I had the confidence to realize this sooner, but I suddenly had two sets of very impressionable eyes on me, and I needed to walk like I talk. I want to see my girls grow into fierce contributors to society with rock-solid self-confidence – a confidence rooted in their identity, and not just their appearance.
So that’s my new and improved “Why.” I work out – not to be thin, but to be healthy – because I’m a role model. I want my daughters to see me exercising as an act of self-love, so that they will grow up loving themselves – and not feeling the need to adhere to the latest body trend. I also want them to understand a lesson I learned from the untimely death of my mother: no matter how we look if we don’t prioritize our health, it won’t matter.
If you are beginning your wellness journey, have been stuck in a “fitness or size rut,” are thinking of trying to get pregnant/are pregnant, or are just wanting something more – start by putting your health first. And – if you need any inspiration – watch a Lizzo concert.
How many times have you been through this cycle? You set a goal and start out strong, but then… life gets in the way. Suddenly, that one missed day, that one slip-up, feels like a giant failure. And instead of doubling-down and getting back on track to your goal, you give up.
If – like me – you’ve been through this a hundred times, it can feel pointless to set goals at all. The whole process feels like you’re setting yourself up for failure. Here’s how you can change that: set SMART goals.
One of the best lessons I learned while certifying as a trainer is setting SMART goals. SMART is an acronym that you apply to every goal you set:
Specific – make your goal as focused, detailed, and meaningful as possible.
Measurable – make your goal quantifiable so you can track your progress and celebrate your successes.
Attainable – make sure that your goal achievable.
Realistic – make sure that you have the resources available to achieve your goal.
Time-Based – give yourself a realistic deadline to achieve your goal.
If your goal is SMART, you’re far more likely to achieve it.
Keep Showing Up for Yourself
Regardless of whether you’re just starting out or if this is your twenty-ninth attempt at getting healthy, please know that it’s going to be difficult. Your body will be sore. Cauliflower will never be fried chicken. And you might even have to miss a few episodes of “The Real Housewives of Wherever” in order to make time for exercise. But you have to remember that you are capable of real change and that you owe it to yourself to try.
You also have to remember that it’s okay to fall because you will get back up. If you take this mindset, you are defining yourself by your resilience, and not your failures. You have to persevere, to keep showing up for yourself.
For me, showing up for myself means prioritizing my spiritual, mental, and physical health. I wake up every day, in the middle of a pandemic, with teething babies and a full plate of responsibilities, knowing that today is going to be tough. But I also know that – if I show up for myself, and prioritize my health – I am going to be a more successful black woman, a more loving partner, and a better mother. So I keep trying, and each time that I don’t quit makes me stronger and puts me closer to my goals.
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It is always a joy to share anything that I have learned that has improved my life. Community is key, especially in times like these. If you are interested in training using the Long and Lean Method, shoot me an email at plienamaste@gmail.com and follow me on Instagram @julialongandlean.
