Sisterfriends,

I’m sure I’ve written, spoken, processed this topic on more than one occasion. I believe because it seems to take me by surprise every time I hear it being proudly exclaimed like some sort of war cry. ” No new friends” It’s like the”creatives code.” I understand and I don’t understand the thought process. I hear and see people hold onto “My Day 1s” irrespective of the health or toxicity of the relationship. No fault of relationships that have withstood the test of time, but it is ok to not have day 1’s but new ones’. It’s ok to acknowledge that you’ve grown apart, matured, you no longer share similar interests, ethics or moral codes. I grasp that relationships we’ve cultivated over trivial and major disappointments have vetted our current friend space. I recently penned a letter speaking about my struggle with rejection and how it was a big insecurity for me. So I get it.

I present the question, How would we grow if there’s no room for new friendships? How do we become better persons ourselves? better friends, partners, leaders if we never open ourselves up to new prospective bonds? My own seasonal relationships allowed me to open up space for new and healthy ones to enter into my life. It allowed for sincerity to be revealed and bless me with their positive vibes, energy, and mindset. Granted I hadn’t always viewed it that way.

I recently returned from a vacation…well I’ll say self-exploration, perhaps even spiritual assessment. I traveled for the first time, to another country, solo. I traveled with little to no native tongue. It wasn’t what I planned but it was in the plan. I recall the struggle and anxiety I had purchasing the ticket, the relief I had when my friend confirmed she was going and the sinking feeling when she told me she couldn’t!  I can laugh about it now but I have pics and video, documenting me putting on my best big girl panties bravery. I remember feeling sick on the plane and having this come to Jesus moment like “Denise! you’re on the plane! It’s sink or swim, determine to enjoy yourself and the experience or be miserable!” * Yes I give myself these warrior reminders, don’t judge.

As I determined the former, I opened myself up to meeting new people, possibly new friends! I carried that mindset thru my entire trip adventure. I met some really cool people, hung out with locals and experienced the authenticity of the country traveled. I loved it so much, I feel as if it will be my preferred mode of travel. I realized that had my friend came along, I more than likely would not have met potential new ones! I am truly grateful for that perceived kink in plans.

I feel like I’m going to be sharing a lot of my adventure in upcoming letters, Grace taught me so much, I want to share and encourage you.

Let’s Own Our Power, let’s ditch the insecurity of “No new friends” and “Day 1’s only” and embrace the blessings of new ones!