Sisterfriends,

Ugh! the dreaded three words no one wants to hear: You’re too needy.In the course of living and navigating relationships, one constant admonishment has been “Don’t be needy” or “too clingy”. Well-meaning motherly, sisterly, fatherly, girlfriend advice.

I’ve tried my best not to be THAT person. So much so, that I find myself intentionally breaking the cancerous habit to defer to the mantra “I don’t NEED anybody”.

Granted, it can be draining on a relationship. I’ve found myself labeling and avoiding people that exhibited the behavior and I’ve also been on the receiving end of that gut punch. There’s only been one relationship that I’ve been in that I’ve come to feel safe and confident in clinging and in being needy. My ever evolving spiritual relationship with God, Jesus, Grace.

It is the nucleus of the entire relationship. It’s all that’s required.

Getting to the point where I believe I have the advantage of confidently relying on someone other than me took patience, relentless love and dogged commitment, from the other party.

It took Grace.

It is the above sentiments that provide the safe space for me to cling. Grace says “I love you” as much as I want to hear it. Grace says “It’s going to be OK, I got you!” Grace approaches me and says “Tell me the unfiltered version, get it off your chest.” I NEED Grace.

I think it may be hard to imagine. We say “I gotta figure this out on my own, you can’t be so open with your feelings”. You can find yourself repeating what someone has told you, “Don’t be so needy!”

I have often envisioned God saying that and stopped cold in my tracks. Expecting or equating a human reaction from Jesus can cause us to shy away, fearing human rejection from spiritual comfort. It’s fallacious.

I’m here to tell you that it’s OK, it’s encouraged, it’s safe. God says so!

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28 {MSG}