Last month, we have seen together with the importance of “The body language” as a way to make a perfect first impression. I am happy to have you here again this month as I will share with you my third and last etiquette tip: The Art of Conversation.
Yes, conversation is an art. It is a beautiful “dance” between two or more people that allows everyone to share opinions, information, experiences, stories… it starts friendships and even partnerships. There are ways to amorce it, ways to graciously exit it; there are tips on what to say or what should not be said.
Why would that be important in a business setting? If you master this art, it can only give you credit and open doors. Because it is through conversations that relationships are created and built. Whether it is for business partnerships or relationships between you and your employees, the two different aspects you need to be comfortable with are the way you talk and what you talk about.
Take a moment and record yourself as you are talking to someone or simply ask a close friend or a relative their honest feedback on the way you talk. The purpose is to analyze the way you speak. How is your tone? Is your voice too loud or too low? Do you sound aggressive or sleepy? Do you speak too fast? Do you swear a lot? Do you have a tendency to interrupt when someone is talking to you?
As we talked last month about the body language and understood that our body can send a positive message, if we have a good posture but talk like a truck driver, all our work to reflect an image of excellence is compromised.
One of the very first tips you need right now is this: always keep in mind that a conversation is not a monologue. See it as an exchange. Resist the urge of talking about you only and ask yourself “what can I learn from this person?” We always tend to talk about ourselves, it is human. But do the reverse instead and ask about the person. Also,
- Be genuinely interested. Ask questions and learn from the person.
- Listen. Stop thinking about what you will be saying next and just listen 100% to what the person is telling you.
- Do not interrupt.
- Avoid swearing. It is so distasteful and so not professional.
- Make sure you are not the only person we hear in a room. Temper your voice.
- Take the time to talk. If you think about it… you do not need to finish your sentence in record time. Do you? This will allow you to be articulated and clear, and to also make sure that you have the time to think a little before talking.
- Don’t gossip. This disease is the death of social happiness. Make sure you never contribute to spreading rumours about someone.
The other aspects of the art of conversation that deserve our attention are how to start a conversation and of course, how to exit without offending anyone. I know you want to ask me… “how to start a conversation?” Usually, asking a question or giving a sincere compliment works fine. But the best option is when someone comes to talk to you. If this person asks you a question, move beyond the one-word answer and develop. This will help to send back the ball to the other.
As an example, a great starter could be something like “Hi, I’m Nadia, I have been working for Mr. Jones for quite a while now. Have you got hired recently?” Or “The seminar was really informative to me, what did you think of it?” Or “I totally agree with you on what you said earlier during the meeting, what made you come to this conclusion?”
Now, how do you exit gracefully?
Here are a few examples: “It was lovely talking to you but I’d like to see Lucy before she leaves. Would you excuse me? Have a good evening.” Or “Mr. Smith, it was lovely talking about our summer vacations, I must leave now. Have a lovely time.” It is polite, it is clear and it doesn’t require you to justify yourself too much. No headache, no unsatisfied conversationalist.
*There are also a few things that should not be said. Topics that are not appropriate whenever you talk to someone you barely know and especially in your workplace: Politics, Religion, and Sex (also, just for your information, French people do not like to talk about money either, it is kind of taboo).
I hope you are now armed enough to bring your personal development and your business to the next level!
Sincerely,
Nadia
