The time is here! Will I say yes or no or maybe? Other than Christmas, February is the biggest time of the year for marriage proposals. So you’ve been with your significant other for some time and the next step is that BIG question, “Will you marry me?” If it’s not your time, how will you answer? If it is, when will you tell and who will know first? What if the ring is not what you expected?
Every man or woman expects a “yes, I will!” which is great but what if it’s a “no, I won’t” how will you communicate that? If it is a yes, congratulations and sleep on it. Decide who you will tell first and how the next day. Your family and best friend are first in line to know. If you decide to tell your family and best friends right away, be sure to let them know not to post your decision or text others until you and your partner decide how you will make the announcement. If it is a “no” and your partner displays their affection publicly, do not embarrass them but be very selective in your choice of words and let them know that this is not the right time.
Traditionally, a ring is presented by the person proposing. But what if it is not the ring you were expecting? If it isn’t, compliment them on the time they spent making the selection and then let them know that you had a different design in mind. Do a little research on the ring you want, find out what the budget is and take it from there. If your partner is making $12 an hour, you would be less than considerate to ask for a $15, 000 ring…and that’s an exaggeration.
Engagements can also cause hurt feelings or disappointment between family members. Parents want to feel comfortable that their child is making the right choice. If the person is presenting an heirloom ring and the parents do not find that person worthy of receiving the ring, sit and have an adult discussion with your parents on the reasons why. If the parents continue to disagree, find another ring and let them know that you still want them to be part of the engagement/wedding experience. Once the excitement of planning a wedding is on the way they may have a change of heart.
What if the engagement isn’t quite what you expected and there are issues that you have not worked out beforehand so now you have to break it off? Legendary Etiquette authority Emily Post offers the following suggestions when breaking it off.
- Tell close family as tactfully as possible (this can be challenging for some)
- Don’t encourage family and friends to choose sides (your family and friends should comfort you in this decision because you might work things out. Always give yourself some “alone time”.)
- Inform everyone involved in the wedding
- Return all gifts received (uh oh…but uh huh)
All in all, I wish you the best and that your decision is exactly what you want. The power of your happiness is always in your hands. Focus on yourself so that you can be good for them.
